MY LIFE IS WONDERFULL: 2012

Sad

I can't pretend I'm happy anymore
I can't pretend there is no problem
I can't pretend it's all fine
I can't pretend that I'm not loving you
I can't pretend I hate you
I can't pretend you are my boyfriend when you belong to someone else
I lie to myself everyday pretending to be happy when I'm really falling apart inside
I lie to myself that I'm not love you anymore
I lie to myself everything about you
I hate myself to behave like this
I hate myself to be sarcastic
I hate myself to have this feeling
I hate myself so much because I love you!!

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to me~
Today is my special day because today I were born
I love you mother even though you no care of me,
Thank you because born me to this miserable world
Thank you because growth me up independently
Thank you so much for all these but I still appreciate it
Thank you so much for all you have given me over the years
I know it hasn't been easy
On this the day of my birth, I think you should get some thanks from your loving daughter.
On this magical day twenty-one years ago you gave me life and I couldn't be more grateful.
Thank you mummy, thank you daddy

emo-ing

Tonight I keep crying for just a reason...
I try to stop think about it but I can't do it!
What I suppose to do now??
I really regret and I just want to tell you that
I'm sorry and I LOVE YOU sayang

喜欢一个人好累

昨天
你送我一个笑脸
昨天
你经过了我身边
每天
你这样一举一动
都影响我的悲伤喜悦
昨天
你多看了我一眼
今天
我有些心不在焉
那天
我才会有勇气
勇敢面对
暗恋喜欢一个人好累
想象你轻轻搂我的肩
走在人挤人的街抓紧你的手
甜蜜无限
暗恋喜欢一个人好累
流泪在数不尽的黑夜
想念变成了习惯想你一遍遍
你却好远
你不当我是朋友
可是
极大重要的角色
是否
我就可以占有
你每个笑容
暗恋喜欢一个人好累
想象你轻轻搂我的肩
走在人挤人的街抓紧你的手
甜蜜无限
暗恋喜欢一个人好累
流泪在数不尽的黑夜
想念变成了习惯想你一遍遍
你却好
喜欢一个人真的好累

Dementia

Today I was posted in Kidney Unit. I feel very frustrated every time posting there because I need to do hourly and half hourly observation. Most of the patients that come here to do dialysis are old man and old lady, some of them look very depress so I try to cheer them up. ^^
I like to chit-chat with old people, I mean old old people. They have many experience and they will tell you hundred and one story and you just only ask one question about their life. ><
There is a old man, 84 years old look very sad and quiet, so I decided to talk with him. He look very happy and smile back to me when I sit beside him. Before I ask him question, he already throw a few questions to me =.="
So I answer him honestly.
Then when I ask him about his life, he telling me all his story when he was 19 years old until now. @.@
we chit-chat about 1 hours but he keep repeating the same story that he already told me. Then he keep asking me the same question for few times even though I already told him the answer. hahahaha~
This ah gong very cute, he realize that he got dementia, so he always bring a pen with book, to record everything that he did. At first, he don't allow me to see the content of the book, but after I ask a few times, he allow me to see. When I open the book, the book is only a white paper without any writing inside it. So I ask the ah gong why din't write anything, he said that he forgot to write. *.*
I speechlessly look at him, I wanted to laugh but I control, scared will hurt him. suddenly, hahahahahaha, the Ah gong laugh back at me =_=

Loving different race

It's all begin with just a "play love" and it's turn up with truth love feeling. She know that this is not a right thing to do and to continue the relationship. Even though all friends told her that she done something stupid but she still do it. She is the type that easily get jealous and angry, she want someone that can control her and tolerate with her, understand her and never give up on her no matter what she do. She happy with the guy because the guy understand her and always make her happy.

The relationship must keep in secret to everyone because stereotype people will judge this relationship. For the family, totally this will be the big issue for her and the family may cut off the family relationship with her.

She is trying to avoid him and create some problems between them so that the guy will hate her and left her, that's what she want now. Even though this what she wanted but inside her heart, she feel very sad and depress. She want her relationship approved by everyone but that is impossible. So what can I do to help her??

The benefits of laughter

Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.

Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.

Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.

Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.

note: so laugh as much as you can when you are in sad, happy, stress, depress, enjoy, etc. !!!!!

BAsic Life Support (CPR) experience

My heart was racing. What do I do? Do I remember? Everything was a blur.
All I knew was that the patient flatlined. Asystole. Vital signs absent.
I climbed up onto the bed and settle my shaking knees right next to my patient’s limp arm.
my 2 fingers pad placed into the carotid, felt for a pulse . . . waited . . .
The only pulse I could feel was my own. (nervous)
Unconsciously I press the emergency bell... hope everybody will came in quickly to help me!
I positioned my hands over the patient’s chest. Have I landmarked correctly? mid nipple line? sternum??
Then I pressed down the chest harder as I can.
The mannequin I practiced on seem so inadequate now! The patient’s chest barely moved.
Luckily all nurses on shift came up!
They urged me to press harder. (my mind talked : why don't you take over my place)
My heart pounded faster and my body felt electrified by the adrenaline racing through it.
I pressed down harder. This time the patient’s chest moved, but I felt it cracking under my hands.
Tutor taught us in school that you can break ribs, but I never imagined how freaky this could be!
I relaxed my muscles but definitely not my mind.
I continued chest compression.
Suddenly I realized my hands were wet.
“Keep going,” everyone shouted out, and I did.
After 5 cycles of compressions, I'm ready to exchange because I lost all my energy!
Then I planted my feet beside patient's bed, looked around-- everybody busy to save patient's life so I keep monitoring the cardiac monitor, waiting for heart start beating while charted my observation chart.
Suddenly, the cardiac monitor show sinus rhythm. (my heart also follow to beating to normal rate)
patient survive after 1 hour saving patient's life!!
That was the first time I participated in a cardiac arrest and it was the most challenging and amazing experiences of my life.
I feel so proud that I know how to perform Basic Life Support to save a LIFE! ^^

Boyfriend

A real boyfriend calls you;

Loves you;

Spend quality time with you;

gets jealous; claims you;

argues with you and

5 minutes later say I LOVE YOU

I miss you

It's YOU.

You mean everything to me...

you are the first thought in my head in the morning when I wake up;

my last thought before I go to bed. You smile at me in my dreams...

when you are sad, I fell sad,

and when I see your true smile, I feel incredible,

like there is no other thing around and all I can see is you.

Broken heart

I don't know which is worse, being the one with the broken heart or being the person that breaks the hearts.

It's not that we aren't meant to be together, I think that we're just not ready for forever.

someone

I want someone to share my secrets with,

someone to talk to late at night when I can't sleep,

someone who feels comfortable around my family,

someone to comfort me when I'm scared,

to hold me when I'm sad,

someone who doesn't need to say that he loves me for me to know its true.

Happy Mother's Day

M is for the Moments she spent in anguish...
Each time you had a fever or a chill.

O is for the Oceans of tears she sadly shed...
When your country called and you went off to war.

T is for the Time and Trouble...
She would take to make your favorite meals.

H is for the Hours she spent in dreadful worry...
Each time you stayed out late and didn’t call.

E is for the Emptyness she felt so deep inside...
When you said: “I do”, and left to start a life anew.

R is for the Righteous pride she has always had...
Knowing that she raised you the best way that she could.

Put them all together...they spell MOTHER.

Today, put your feelings into words and deeds; Remember, she too, has her wants and needs.
Take that hand that guided you as a girl or boy, And say those magic words that will bring her joy:
“I Love You , Mom”

This is Her Day, make it a Day to Remember.

Happy nurses day

Friends

Friends. A simple word isn't it?

Who are your friends?

I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to.

Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch your hearts.

You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them.

They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with.

They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are.

They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs, and smiles.

You're tied together by love for the other.

Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world.

I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life.

My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life.

I wanna be the one

I wanna be the girl that he talks to his friends about,

I wanna be the girl that always comes first,

I wanna be the girl he never wants to leave alone,

I wanna be the girl who's hand he's holding,

I wanna be the girl he looks at and smiles and then says to his friends,

"That's her, she's the one."

Smile is a problem

People are always telling me to smile,

like smiling is going to just take away all the hurt and pain.

Well I've tried that...

I've tried hiding my sorrows and covering the sadness in smiles...

and what I've learned is that when it hurts this much inside your heart always has a way of showing it

no matter how many masks you wear.

I need you

Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real.

Mad because I don't know how you feel.

Upset because we can't make it right.

Sad because I need you day and night.

Angry because you won't take my hand.

Aggravated because you don't understand.

Disappointed because we can't be together, but still I'll love you forever.

Genting highland trip

We wake up early in the morning about 5a.m and went to KL sentral to buy the bus ticket to Genting,

unfortunately the bus to Genting only available at 11a.m, so we decide to go Jalan Pahang bus station to get the bus to Genting.

the journey to Genting take about 2 hours.

This is the ticket price

so we just buy the outdoor theme park for 1 day-RM50

There are a lot of game we can play at the outdoor game compare to indoor game,

indoor game mostly for children only.

Dinosaur land

Marry go Round

I scare of the high place, so I do not dare to play this

Go kart

nice drive~ but unfortunately to small place

they should provide bigger area for this to be more exciting

This mainly for kids but adult also can play it ><

Dragon flying

we got lost to find this game because is not at the outside,

we need to go inside (near the burger king) to ride it.

It very exciting and scary, because it can go and turn very fast..

Space shot!!

the most exciting game!

the space shot will bring you up to the sky

and

fall to the ground very fast

so must must try this

This is the second time went to Genting Highland trip..

This time, only few games we can play because some

game are under maintenance.. :(

But we had fun there ^^

All over

This time it's over I'm keeping my heart, I'm gonna be strong and not fall apart...
it'll get better, I'll no longer cry...
in a couple of weeks I won't want to die, I won't want to go back.
I'll be able to sleep, it won't hurt so bad and it won't hurt so deep!

hurt or pain

Everything that ever caused a tear to trickle down my cheek, I run away and hide from it.

But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me.

And I don't know what to do.

I just know that pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten time more.

Bone Marrow Aspiration

HoHo~ Today I assist the doctor did the bone marrow aspiration procedure.

I feel very happy every time I gt the chance to assist doctor to do any procedure ^^

I feel that nursing interesting when I can assist doctor do the procedure but I hate so much when I need to the nursing care of the patient.

So, let's talk about the bone marrow aspiration.

Bone marrow is the soft tissue inside bones that helps form blood cells. Bone marrow aspiration is the removal of a small amount of this tissue in liquid form for examination.

Actually during Semester 3, I assisted the doctor did this procedure but I was scolded by the doctor because I'm very blur and did silly mistake.

Now I'm in semester 5, so I'm not blur anymore and I knw what should I do.

T&S experience

Today I assist doctor doing Toilet and Suturing in Emergency room. When I start my duty at 2p.m, the staff nurse chase me go inside the room to assist the doctor.
I enter the room without knowing anything about the case.
I feel very scare because I really duno what I suppose to do...
So, I just standing at the patient's bed side and look at the doctor, waiting for his instruction..
Luckily he din't scold me so much infront of the patient and patient's relatives.
the doctor scold me that I very slow and he ask me to do everything in just a second =.="
I admit that I slow, this is because I never assist doctor do this procedure before, so I really duno what should I do.. But I feel happy because at least I gt the chance to assist doctor like what I wish that I will do in the future..
I hope that I can go to Operation Theater after I graduate >.<